How to make your server hate you
1. Ask for a drink refill. Then, when your server comes back, ask for one more thing that makes them run across the restaurant. Repeat at will.
2. Ask for a separate glass just of ice.
3. If your bill is $33.66, give your server $34.00 and ask for 34 cents back instead of just factoring that into the tip.
4. Inquire many times as to when your food will arrive, even though the restaurant is full of other people who have also ordered food.
5. Ask your server to "please hustle up our salad."
6. Ask for lemon or lime with water, soda, etc.
7. Ask for "just the brown bread."
8. Chat over coffee for 45 minutes after paying your bill.
9. Refrain from looking at your menu until 20 minutes after sitting down.
10. Stare at your server every time they come out of the kitchen as if you need something, then when they come by tell them you're just fine.
11. Go to the restaurant with a boring companion with whom you have nothing to talk about, so you look crabby and impatient throughout the meal.
12. Take a baby or a small child to the restaurant, and then rush your server when the child gets cranky.
13. Eat a relaxed, leisurely meal, and then inform your server you need to receive and eat your dessert in five minutes or you'll be late for a heretofore unmentioned engagement.
14. Take one bite of your meal and decide you do not like it. Tell your server you would like to order something else, and you expect the restaurant to buy the food you didn't like. After ordering a new dish, expect it to be placed in front of you in approximately 30 seconds.
15. When shown your table, ask if you could possibly sit somewhere else.
16. Order a cheeseburger with no cheese, no lettuce, no tomato, and no bun.
17. Order something that is not on the menu, but sounds good to eat.
18. Ask your server to turn the heat, lights, or music up/down.
People are way crazier than just this list- please contribute.
posted by Nicole at 8:41 AM
2 Comments:
Okay, I've never been a server, but here's my "retail" addition:
1. Ask the person helping you to "just check" the stockroom for something that they have assured you multiple times is out of stock (kind of like ordering things not on the menu).
2. Attempt to return something that was clearly not purchased at the store to which you are attempting to return it.
And one Epic one:
1. Use "thanks" at the end of every email, even if it makes no sense to thank the recipient of the email.
Thanks,
Anna
4:05 PM
the pub job has given me a few...
1) repeatedly ask me where i am from and try to imitate my accent
2) ask if i am norwegian
3) ask if i am irish
4) ASK FOR A GLASS OF JUST ICE for your red wine
5) dog fights (dogs are allowed in pubs in this fucked up country)
6) stay though people are screaming to get out and i keep saying bye and continue to ash in the ashtrays i have just washed though we are closed
7)order a "lager".... i dont know what the fuck kind you want
8)though we are soo busy and have to keep rewashing glasses because they're arent enough to go around, insist that you need a "cooler" glass when given your drink
9)repeatedly tell me that your mom is american and i dont sound like her
10) ask me a million times to turn on the tv, when someone is in the process of doing it
11)be british
3:45 PM
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