The Christmas Pickle

"The last ornament to be hidden on the tree on Christmas Eve brings a special gift to the child who finds it on Christmas morning." Thus says the packaging on the Christmas Pickles that I just unpacked at my mom's store. It's apparently an old German tradition (also stated on the packaging). It's a pickle in a mason jar with holly around the top. I think it may be kind of fabulous.

I have been unpacking Christmas stuff for a couple of weeks. It's adorable. I am frightened. It's September, Christmas is still several months away. Luckily, after I unpacked and priced 13 gigantic boxes, it all went down to the basement, so I won't have to face any Christmas until at least Halloween. Love the retail mindset. I've seen Christmas displays at several department stores already. Soon Christmas in July won't be a fun novelty thing that people do at offices and summer camps to keep things interesting, it'll just be the way things are. So unspecial.

And as I am trying to ignore the retail world's calendar, I am supporting Halloween by eating candy pumpkins non-stop. Pure, unadulterated, orange and green sugar. Yes.

So hot in my "whites"

I have a job- I'm a server at The Cheesecake Factory at Old Orchard mall, right near my house (so apparently Jeremy and I now have much to discuss). I'm in the middle of training, just finished four days of food class. They gave us lunch, including dessert, every day, oh my god, so much food. We would get a bunch of entrees and try them all. The best thing about the job? The hot, hot uniform. ALL WHITE. Yes indeed, white shirt (although with a lovely tie of my choice), white shoes from "shoes for crews," and WHITE PANTS. And the scary part? I actually found white denim at Express, because apparently we've traveled back in time several decades. So come check me out, you won't be able to stand the hotness. And I am now going to eat some Andy's peanut butter cup ripple cheesecake... dear god, I'm supposed to know the full names of all these things...

BEES!!!

For several days, my parents and I have been living with the threat of being stung to death in our sleep by millions of bees. It's very reminiscent of "My Girl," only indoors (there were just too many of them!). They have had a hive in between an indoor and an outdoor wall all season, but now that they're dying and sluggish and desperate they're getting into the house. I walked out into the front hallway (several rooms away from the hive) yesterday and stopped to listen to the sound of a low, constant buzzing. It felt like a D-grade horror movie, perhaps something shown during primetime on Fox. Sorry, many apt analogies. The exterminator comes today, and for the moment, I am very happy to be at mommy's store...