dinner with the parents

Whenever my parents and I go out to dinner, I get all tipsy, and they get a bit tipsy as well. Here are some excerpts from tonight:

Dad: How would you feel if I was bisexual?
Me: I would be fine with it. I would be more concerned about your relationship with mom.
Mom: What the hell are you talking about? I have a problem here!

Dad: And so some uber-chick was driving down the street, getting ready to cut me off, laughing at me...
Mom: Wait, uber-chick, don't you mean dyke-chick?

Mom (watching Oprah after dinner): How would you feel if you were married to the "mall rapist?" Oh my god... Rich, do you have anything to tell me?
Dad: I'm the 7-11 rapist... the sandwich section.

Welcome to my parents... I love them, they're fabulous.